Pick your battles and at the end of the day, or divorce in my case, win the war. I recently read this on a bumper sticker. It resonated deeply with me in that I have continued to tell friends and family I want to have calm surrounding me and continuing to battle with my soon-to-be ex-husband daily, was taking an extreme emotional and physical toll on me. My “team” has sent multiple settlement offers, all of which never even received a response as much as fuck you. No response at all was equally, if not more of a fuck you than responding at all I suppose. After spending the night in the hospital due to the taxing effects this half a year has had on me, I decided it was time to win the war, not the battle.
Becoming Ms. Clark while unbecoming Mrs. Foonberg, and providing myself with a financially stable future was the war to win. Winning this war, would set me free. Setting me free would open the door for me to heal and give me the strength to provide my children the mother they have always known and loved, not the mother that has spent half a year crying many times every, single day.
Give my ex-husband the $5,000 candlesticks, happy to do so and feel good about giving him a piece of our past he really wanted. Write our boat as “shared custody” of our children, making the boat either of ours and at both of our disposal, brilliant. Selling my ownership in our companies that I have built side by side with the father of my children, over the last 21 years, painful beyond words, nearly incomprehensible and certainly never part of my imagination just less than one year ago, but life isn’t what you plan. Selling my ownership in properties and negotiating others, a beautiful dance between painful realization I will never be using our home in Vail again, combined with gratitude to have been fortunate for over twenty years to have multiple vacation homes at my disposal. Learning to follow a “parenting plan”, a balancing act of day to day mom duties I naturally love and so easily do, and remembering this act is now not a solo one rather an intricate braid between the father of my children and me.
Emotional and at a loss for words, at times, absolutely. Choosing instead to secure my financial future forever, smart. Taking care of my children’s needs both emotionally and financially, always priority number one for me and settling never felt so good.
Crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s on settlement logistics, along with new company documents, marked this July 4th as one for the books. Giving way to what began November 30, 2016 when my Michael chose to simply walk away and my children and my path was sent in a new direction. Life isn’t what you plan.
Love. Sex. Companionship. Natural desires for humans and one that I was fortunate to already experience after the loss of my Michael. Never saw him coming. Never believed my heart was able to open to a connection so deep and intense again, but my heart did open and I am grateful for the realization that after life isn’t what you plan, it’s also not the cards you are dealt, but how you play the hand.
My hand is full. My heart is full. While the T’s are drying, and Ms. Clark is about to become legally recognized, it is with great relief of pain and colorful excitement to step into Ann Marie 2.0.
I am a courageous, strong and artistically talented woman, who won the war.
Ology For The Day
Let go of what you believe others want you to do and set yourself free